Sigh.

"I don't do goodbyes."

That's what I used to tell people. That is, until college made different kinds of goodbyes more than real for me. When you're in college people leave all the time, professors and students alike. And as much as I haven't enjoyed these goodbyes, I've dealt with them accordingly. Now, I would revise that phrase to read, "I don't do goodbyes very well."

People that have known me forever know that I refuse to end any type of conversation first, unless I absolutely have to. I don't really know what that's about, but it might have something to do with my always wanting to be sure that the person has said all that they wanted or needed to say.  It's one of my very many weird habits. 

I've been contemplating when to write my goodbye post to the ACM Newberry Seminar program since I wrote the last post here, on 3 December. It seemed appropriate to write this post exactly one week after we participated in the all-day conference and presented our topics. 

I didn't come to Chicago, the Newberry, or the ACM Seminar thinking that I would make good friends. I imagined that I would write my paper, spend lots of time in the library, and hang out in Chicago. For some reason, I imagined that I would do all of that alone. I was very excited to meet people, but I wasn't so sure that friendships would be in our future. I was so wrong. There was a huge difference between saying goodbye to the people from the ACM Seminar and saying goodbye to the people from home before I headed to college, and the people on my college campus before I headed to Chicago. I had more time to prepare for the latter set of goodbyes. For the former, we submitted a paper, had a final seminar, presented our papers, had an end-of-the-semester party, packed, and then left before I even realized that I was *actually* leaving.

More from me on Thursday.